


Seasons in the Sun

by fallenangel218



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:42:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenangel218/pseuds/fallenangel218
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim prepares to say goodbye, as his father reaches the final stages of his cancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song Lyrics are from "Seasons in the Sun," performed by Terry Jacks.

_We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun,  
But the wine and the song, like the seasons, have all gone…_

 

It was another late night at the office for Tim. It was after 11, and he was the last person left in the squad room. A cup of coffee sat next to him, untouched, as he stared at lines of code on his computer screen. They were on the trail of a hacker, and Gibbs was adamant that Tim break through the code sooner than later. Tim, of course, volunteered to stay late, and Gibbs had no problem with that. 

Tim sat back and rubbed his eyes. He had a feeling he might be there all night. As he reached for his coffee, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He felt a jolt in his stomach when he saw the caller ID. 

“Penny?” he said tiredly. 

“Timothy, I’ve been trying to call you for hours. Is something wrong with your phone?”

Tim looked down at his phone for a split second. He did indeed have a few missed calls.

“I’m sorry Penny. I’m working late tonight.” 

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Tim straightened in his chair.

“What’s wrong, Penny?” Tim asked the question, but he was pretty sure he already knew why she was calling.

“It’s your father, Timothy. He’s in Intensive Care at Bethesda. He went into a coma about an hour ago.” 

Tim felt his heart tighten inside his chest. He’d known this day would come, but he never thought in a million years it would be this soon. 

“Timothy? Are you still there, sweetheart?”

“Y-yeah, Penny. I was—“

“I know.”

Both of them were silent for a few moments. Neither of them knew what to say next. It was Penny that broke the silence.

“Can you get away to come down to the hospital, Timothy?” 

Tim felt her comment hit him in the gut. He’d been avoiding visiting his father during his illness, usually making the excuse that he had to work, even when he didn’t. 

“Yeah, I can come right now, Penny. I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up without another word. He got out a pencil and paper, and wrote Gibbs a note to explain his absence, and left it on his desk. He returned to his desk, saved his work and e-mailed it to Abby with a brief explanation, turned off his monitor, and left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Intensive Care unit at Bethesda was the quietest place he’d ever been in a hospital. It was an unsettling quiet. As he passed each room, looking for his father, the only sound to be heard was the beeping and whirring of the machines keeping people alive. He looked down at the paper the front desk had given him with his father’s room number on it, and back up at the number of the next room. They were a match. He hesitated for a brief moment. He wasn’t sure what he’d be seeing when he went into the room, but he was sure he wasn’t ready to see it. He saw bodies every day, people who were gravely injured. He could handle this, right?

Tim took a deep breath and stepped into the room. His breath caught when he saw his father’s condition. He’d lost a considerable amount of weight. And he was gaunt and pale. He was hooked up to a ventilator, unable to breathe on his own. Tim also noticed the tube from a catheter hanging over the side of the bed, attached to a bag. 

Penny, who had been seated next to her son’s bed, got up when Tim entered the room and enveloped him in a comforting hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Timothy,” she said with a weary sigh. “I thought I wouldn’t be able to tear you away from that desk of yours.”

Tim lowered his eyes for a brief moment, then brought his gaze back to his Grandmother. 

“Gibbs will have to function without me for a little while.” He took a step toward the Admiral’s bed, but stopped short. “How long has he been in a coma?” Tim asked shakily.

“Two days. His secretary found him on the floor in his office, and called an ambulance.” She glanced at the still figure in the bed and wiped a tear from her eye. “When he got worse, I told him to take early retirement, but you know your Father. He wouldn’t have it.”

“Dad was always career-oriented. Mom never was able to tear him away from his work for more than 24 hours at a time.”

“My son, the work horse,” Penny said with a chuckle.

A noise brought their attention back to the Admiral. He’d begun to make a gurgling sound as he breathed. Tim’s breath caught in his throat. This wasn’t how he wanted to say goodbye to his father. Without warning he turned and swiftly went for the door.

“Where are you going?” Penny asked.

“I need some air,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

Tim left the room and found the waiting room. It was empty. There were couches and a television hooked up with an old VCR. Anger surged through him. He turned and punched the wall next to the door, leaving a hole in the plaster. Shaking, he slid down the wall and buried his face in his knees as tears slipped down his cheeks. This wasn’t something he wanted to deal with right now. He couldn’t. 

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

“Where’s the McGeek?” Tony said as soon as he walked into the bullpen. He was practically brimming with excitement at beating Tim to work—for once. 

“Not coming in today, DiNozzo,” Gibbs replied shortly. “Don’t you have paperwork to do?” 

“Tons. Is Tim all right?” Tony said with some concern.

“He’s fine. Don’t worry about McGee. Get on that paperwork.”

“Already doing it, Boss.” 

Tony sat down and logged onto his computer. He stared at McGee’s empty chair, and hoped that his friend was really all right.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tim woke up on the floor in the waiting room. A nurse was standing over him, looking concerned.

“Are you all right?” she asked, holding out a hand to Tim. He took it and let her help him to his feet. Her name tag, he noticed, read Suzette. 

“Y-yeah, thanks. I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”

“It’s perfectly all right. That’s what this room is for. What happened to you hand?”

Tim flushed and looked at the hole in the wall.

“I’m sorry.”

“Quite all right. Come on, I’ll bandage that up for you.”

Tim followed her to the nurses’ station.

“Who are you hear to see, honey?”

“Admiral John McGee. My Father.” 

Suzette knew whom the young man was referring to. She knew every patient that came through the ICU, especially the ones that never left. 

“I’m sorry about your Dad,” she said gently. “Have you been in the waiting room all night?”

“Yeah. I’d better get back to the room. My Grandmother probably thinks I abandoned her.” 

“No problem. I’m here if you need to talk, okay?”

“Okay, thanks Suzette.”

Suzette finished his hand and led him out of the station and back into the hallway.

“Anytime, sweetie.”

Tim smiled as the nurse returned to her station. He rubbed a hand over his face and headed back to his father’s room. Penny was sleeping in a chair next to the bed, and, to his surprise, Sarah was curled up in a less comfortable chair, dozing. There was an extra chair next to Sarah. Tim fell into it and took a deep breath. The Admiral’s monitor beeped faithfully in the otherwise quiet room. 

Tim’s eyes rested on his Father. He wished to God he’d called his Father before all of this happened. Even with Tim finding out about the illness, the Admiral remained very thick-headed about Tim’s life decisions, and Tim made the decision to distance himself from his father. Penny had been angry with him for a long time about the ongoing feud. 

“Tim?”

Tim turned to the voice.

“Hey Sarah. How long have you been here?” 

Sarah sat up in her chair and slapped her brother across the face.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“I’ve been here all night! I wish I could say the same for you! How dare you show up the next morning when Dad is dying!” 

“I was here all night, Sarah. I got here about 1 a.m. I fell asleep in the waiting room.”

“Yeah, right. Sure you did.”

“I’m not going to argue about this, Sarah. Dad needs us here right now, and I’m sure as hell not going to be arguing about something during his last hours!” 

“Knock it off, both of you!” 

Tim and Sarah turned to find that Penny had awakened, and was standing with her arms crossed.

“There’s no reason for that kind of behavior. Your father is lying here in a coma, and all you can do is argue with each other about who got here first? I’m surprised at you two.”

“Penny—“

“And where did you run off to last night, Timothy?”

“The waiting room. I fell asleep there. Someone doesn’t believe me.”

“That’s enough of that. Both of you sit down, and no arguing. Do you hear me?” 

Both of them nodded.

“Good. I’ll be right back. Stay with your father.”

Penny stalked out of the room. Tim and Sarah exchanged apologetic glances.

“I’m sorry, Tim. I overreacted. I believe you.”

“I’m sorry too.” 

Tim hugged his sister tightly. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Sarah said into Tim’s shoulder. He could tell tears were threatening to fall. 

“I know, Sarah. I wasn’t ready for this, either.”

She parted from Tim and looked up at him.

“I-I’m not sure what to do,” she admitted.

“Why don’t we just sit here together,” Tim said. “Dad would want us to get along.”

“You’re right. You’re always right.”

“That’s why I’m your big brother,” Tim said with a smile. Sarah laughed, a tear escaping her eye. Tim put his arm around her and pulled her in close to him. Sarah leaned on her brother’s shoulder, and they sat in silence, watching their Father sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Tim was jolted awake by his cell phone. He quietly took it from his coat pocket and put it to his ear. 

“McGee.”

_“Hey,Tim. How are you doing?”_

“As well as can be expected. Thanks, Boss.”

_“Listen, I know you’re up at the hospital, but I could use you down at the Yard for a while. I’ve got some computer stuff to get done, and Abby is too busy to do it.”_

“I guess I could come in for a few hours.” 

Tim could feel his grandmother glaring right through him as he spoke. 

_“All right. Get here as soon as you can.”_

“Thanks, Boss.” 

Tim hung up and looked up at his Grandmother. Penny was glaring right through him. He lowered his eyes. 

“I can’t believe you are going back to work, Timothy.” 

“I need to keep busy. Sitting here staring at Dad isn’t going to help matters. He wouldn’t want us to sit here doing nothing, anyway.”

“You don’t know that…”

“If he woke up right now, he’d tell me to get my ass back to work. He always hated it when people made a fuss over him.” 

Penny was silent for a moment. Tim was right about John being a stubborn fool. Tim and Sarah were the only family that Penny really had left, and without Tim’s stability, Penny wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold on. She looked into her grandson’s eyes. He was adamant about leaving. 

“How long will you be at the office?”

“Not long. Just a few hours.” He leaned in and kissed his Grandmother on the cheek. “I’ll be back soon, Penny.” 

As soon as Tim was gone, Penny sank into the armchair by her son’s bed and closed her eyes. 

“Grandma?” 

Penny looked up to find Sarah standing over her, with a concerned look on her face. She held out a cup to her Grandmother.

“I brought you some coffee.”

“Thank you, Dear.” 

“Where’s Tim?”

“Your brother got called into work. He’ll be back soon.”

Sarah squeezed Penny’s hand and sat down next to her. She knew as well as Penny that it would be hours before Tim returned, if he did at all.

So they waited.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

Tim fidgeted in the elevator as it ascended to squad room. He had conflicting feelings about coming back to the office. He hated to leave Penny and Sarah alone at the hospital, but at the same time, he felt relieved not to be there. The fact that he felt relieved was making him feel guilty as hell.

The doors opened at the squad room, and Tim shakily stepped out. Gibbs was alone in the bullpen. He looked up when Tim entered.

“How are you?” he asked.

Tim didn’t respond. He dropped his bag next to his desk and sat down. Gibbs got up and made his way to Tim’s desk. He leaned against the side and looked down at Tim as he booted his computer.

“You’re not all right, are you?”

Tim gave him no response.

“If you want to go back up—“

“Just tell me what you need done, Gibbs. I’m ready to work,” Tim blurted out abrasively. He regretted it a millisecond later, when he realized who he’d just snapped at. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.”

Gibbs went to his desk and came back with a file.

“Can you get background on this guy?”

Tim took the file and read it quickly.

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

Gibbs went silently back to his desk as Tim set to work. He sat back in his chair and observed Tim as he silently worked. Gibbs could tell he was obviously not all right, but Tim wasn’t about to talk about it. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Penny sat alone next to her son’s bed. The few hours Tim had promised had gone by several hours ago. She’d sent Sarah home to rest around six o’clock, hoping Tim would be back soon after. He hadn’t returned, and she was feeling very alone. She looked down at her son and shook her head.

“That boy is as stubborn as you, John. You let this get so out of hand, that your own son doesn’t even want to be by your death bed!” 

Penny rested her head in her hand, trembling, and started to cry.

From the door to the Admiral’s room, Sarah stood quietly, watching her Grandmother. She turned on her heel and ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tim stretched in his chair and picked up the coffee Gibbs had brought him. He hadn’t moved from his desk all afternoon. He’d finally broken into the dead Commander’s e-mail account, to Gibbs’ elation, and he was alone in the bullpen for the moment. He looked at his watch, and his eyes went wide when he saw that it was almost nine in the evening. He’d promised Penny he’d be back hours ago. 

As he gathered his things to leave, the elevator dinged. 

“Tim!”

Tim knew the shrill voice of his sister anywhere. He kept packing up his things. He suddenly felt the surprisingly strong grip of his sister clamp down on his arm, and yank him around to face her.

“How could you leave Penny alone all day! Do you have any idea how hard this is on her?”

“Are you kidding me right now? Of course I know how hard it is on her!”

Sarah slapped him across the face, hard. Tim stood in shocked silence.

“You don’t care at all, do you? All you care about is your god damned job, and that’s all you’ll ever care about!” 

“Sarah—“

“Shut the hell up! I’m not done with you yet!” 

“Sarah, Listen!” 

“No, you listen, Tim! Every time something important happens in our family, you’re always stuck at work. I can’t even count how many things you’ve missed because of this place. Birthdays, graduation parties, those things I can forgive. But this is too much. Dad is dying, and you’re at the office like nothing’s wrong. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Tim glanced around the squad room. A couple of people had stopped and looked on at the altercation. 

“Sarah, listen to me. I’ve missed a lot of stuff over the years because of work. I lost track of time this afternoon, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sick of your excuses,” Sarah said shakily. “Just, be there for your family. For once.” 

Sarah turned and left, tears in her eyes. Tim grabbed his bag and hurried after her.

“Sarah, wait!” 

She rushed into the elevator, past a confused Tony stepping out. The doors closed before Tim could get to them.

“Is everything all right?” Tony asked, concerned.

“Fine, Tony,” Tim said quickly, and headed for the stairs. Tony went after him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I have to go.” 

Tim tried again to get by Tony, but he blocked the door.

“Talk to me.”

“Get out of my way!” Tim shouted, taking a swing at Tony. The punch landed on Tony’s right cheek. He stumbled backward, caught off guard, and Tim took off into the stairwell. 

“That son of a—“

“DiNozzo!”

Tony turned to see Gibbs standing behind him.

“You OK?”

“I’ll live.”

“Good. Get to your damn desk and find me a killer.”

“But he just—“

“I don’t care. Get to your desk. Now.”

“Yes, Boss.” 

Tony trudged to his desk and sat down silently.

Gibbs regarded the situation he’d just witnessed, and was starting to regret calling McGee into work that day. He turned and walked back into the squad room.

“DiNozzo, take point on this case. I’m leaving for a while.”

“You need backup?”

“Not this time.”

“Understood.”

Gibbs grabbed his coat and headed for the elevator.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tim stood outside his father’s hospital room, leaning against the wall. He dreaded seeing his father lying in that bed, so close to death. He also dreaded what would happen to him if he left Penny alone any longer. He took a deep breath, pulled himself away from the wall and stepped into the room. Penny was alone, half asleep in a big chair next to the Admiral’s bed. Sarah was not there. She had no doubt gone home to rest. As he slowly made his way into the room, Penny stirred.

“Timothy?”

“It’s me,” Tim said softly, pulling up a chair to sit next to her. “Any change?”

“No.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. Tim could tell she was upset with him. He hated trying to talk to Penny when she was upset.

“Penny…”

“Where have you been?” she said angrily.

“I’m sorry for coming back so late. I lost all track of time and—“ 

He was cut off when she slapped him across the face.

“Don’t you ever lie to me again. You said you would be back in a couple of hours, and you were gone for nearly twelve!”

“I can’t always call you from work, Penny—“

“You’re telling me that facist Gibbs can’t even let you make one phone call to check on your dying father?”

“It’s not that—“

“Then what is the reason, Timothy?”

“I’m scared, okay?” Tim shouted, jumping out of his chair. “I wasn’t ready to deal with this so soon… I-I don’t’ want him to die.” 

Penny saw the slight quiver in her grandson’s lip, the quiver that she knew would lead to tears. She stood up and held out her arms. Tim let his grandmother envelope him in her arms as he felt tears threaten to fall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gibbs arrived at the Admiral’s hospital room just in time to see Penny embracing her grandson. Tim looked about ready to collapse. Gibbs had wanted to talk to him, but decided it could wait. He turned and started back down the hall toward the elevator.

**TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

_We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun  
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time_

 

_~The Next Morning~_

Tim awoke the next morning crammed into a hard chair at the end of his father’s bed. He stretched out his arms and legs and sat up in the chair. His father’s monitor was still beeping, to his relief. He realized a moment later that he was alone in the room. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, and looked on at his father.

“Why didn’t you keep your chemo appointments, Dad?” Tim asked his unconscious father. “That’s all you had to do… you could have beat this. You’re too damned stubborn to live, now?” 

He pushed himself out of the chair and walked over to the window. The view from his father’s room was of the side of the building. He knew the day he found out about the cancer that he’d be here eventually. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about it. Part of him wanted to leave that room and never come back, while part of him wanted to sit there at his father’s side until the end. The Admiral may have been a hard man to live with, but Tim still loved him. 

As he ran a hand over his tired face, the Admiral’s machines started to go haywire. He turned around to find his Father struggling to breathe.

“Dad!” he cried out, running for the call button. Seconds after he pressed it, a doctor and two nurses rushed into the room. Penny followed them, holding two cups of coffee.

“What’s happening?” she asked Tim.

“He—he just—he—stopped breathing—“

Penny set the coffees down and put an arm around Tim. 

“Calm down, honey. Let the doctors do their jobs.” 

The monitor’s rapid beeping suddenly stopped, and Tim watched as his father flat-lined. The nurses started compressions. Tim and Penny held each other, watching as they tried to revive the Admiral. A minute after compressions were started, the doctor signaled them to stop. He reached over and clicked off the monitor, and looked at his watch.

“Time of death: 7:35 a.m.”

Penny started crying hysterically. Tim gathered her into his arms and held her as she cried. He could feel tears slipping down his cheeks as he rocked her back and forth. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gibbs sat in the hospital parking garage, debating on whether or not to go up to the Admiral’s room. He’d been up all night, tossing and turning over his youngest Agent’s emotional state. He’d given up on the idea of sleep around 0700, and come up to the hospital. He wanted to clear the air with McGee, and hopefully ease some of the tension the young man was feeling. Decision made, he got out of his car and made his way to the elevator.

When the elevator doors opened up at the intensive care level, he saw medical personnel running into the Admiral’s room down the hall. Gibbs made his way down there, but did not go in. He leaned against the wall outside and listened. When he heard the solid tone of a flat-lining monitor, he knew what the doctor was going to do next. 

He waited until the doctor and nurses exited the room, and peeked his head around the corner. Tim and his grandmother were on the floor next to the Admiral’s bed. Penny was crying hysterically, and McGee was holding her tightly. Gibbs slowly entered the room, keeping his distance from the two. Tim became aware that another person was in the room, and looked up.

“Boss…”

“I’m sorry, Tim.” 

Tim nodded. He turned his attention back to his Grandmother. 

“Penny, we need to get off the floor. I need your help to stand up. Can you do that?” he asked gently. Penny nodded through tears. Tim slowly got to his feet, bringing his grandmother with him. He led her to the soft armchair next to the Admiral’s bed. She rested her head on the side of the chair, and the exhaustion from the past couple of days seemed to catch up with her. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the back of the chair.

Tim turned to Gibbs, who was lingering by the door, watching. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Can we talk?” Gibbs asked quietly. Tim nodded and motioned for the door. The two stepped into the hallway, leaving Penny to sleep.

“I shouldn’t have called you into the office yesterday.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Why is it suddenly a big deal?” Tim snapped. 

“Since you hit DiNozzo.”

“Did you come down here to yell at me?”

“I came down here to check on you. When you start throwing punches, something is seriously off with you.”

“My Dad was dying, Gibbs. That’s more than just being a little off.”

“You’re right.”

“Look… can we talk another time? I need to call my sister.” 

“Of course, Tim.” Gibbs squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks, Boss.”

Gibbs turned on his heel and left. Tim went back into the room, and sat down next to Penny. He took out his cell phone to make the hardest call of his life.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

_~One week later~_

 

_“You’re not a McGee man unless you’re in the Navy, son!”  
“Man up and serve your country as you were meant to! Forget that pansy NCIS crap!”  
“stage four cancer…”  
“I don’t need chemotherapy! Let me die!” _

 

“Dad!” Tim bolted upright in bed, sweating bullets. It took him a moment to re-orient himself, and realize he was in one of Penny’s spare bedrooms. He and Sarah had been staying with her for the past couple of days. 

As he scrubbed a hand over his face, his bedroom door opened, and Sarah peeked her head in. A moment later, the door opened wider, and she stepped into the room.

“Tim? Are you all right?” 

“Yeah, just a bad dream,” he said, rather quickly. 

“I heard you screaming Dad’s name down the hall in your sleep.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not all right. I can’t sleep.”

“Me either,” she said as she crossed the room and plopped down on the edge of his bed. “I can’t believe he’s gone, Tim.”

“I know. This all happened so fast. I’m still processing what happened at the hospital.” 

Sarah leaned over and enveloped her brother in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight.

“I miss him,” she said, her voice cracking. 

“I miss him too.” 

Tim held his sister until she fell asleep. He carefully laid her down on the bed and covered her up. He got comfortable on the other side of the bed and was soon asleep. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Penny smiled when she opened the door to Tim’s bedroom to wake him the next morning. He was sleeping on top of the covers, and Sarah was tucked underneath. Both were sleeping soundly. As much as she wanted to leave them to sleep, she had to wake them. She made her way to the bed, and shook her granddaughter’s shoulder gently.

“Time to wake up, sweetheart.” 

Sarah grumbled and pulled the blanket over her head. 

“Come on now,” Penny said, pulling the blanket down. “We have a big day ahead.”  
Sarah rolled over and opened her eyes.

“Thanks for reminding me.” She elbowed her brother in the rib, and he jolted awake. “Time to get up.” 

“I hate it when you elbow me,” Tim said as he sat up. 

“Breakfast is waiting,” Penny said as she turned and left. Sarah went back to her bedroom to get dressed, leaving Tim to himself. He dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and made his way downstairs for breakfast. Penny had a plate of pancakes ready for him.

“You didn’t use that wheat germ stuff, did you Penny?” he asked as he sat down at the table and poured himself some orange juice.

“Of course not! It’s terrible in pancakes, anyway.” She said, winking. He smiled and started in on his breakfast. He’d forgotten how good his grandmother’s pancakes were. Tim smiled to himself. He hadn’t been this relaxed in a very long time. He’d forgotten what it felt like to relax. He planned on enjoying his morning for as long as he possibly could. He wasn’t prepared for what awaited him that afternoon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_A few hours later…_

Tim stood in front of the bedroom mirror, straightening his tie. He could never get those darned things straight enough. As he continued to fiddle with it, Penny stuck her head into the open door.

“Almost ready, sweetheart?”

“Stupid tie,” Tim mumbled to himself as he pulled it loose to tie it again. As he pulled it loose, his hands began to shake. He could feel the pain welling up in his chest. He dropped his shaking hands to his sides as the tears rolled down his cheeks. 

Penny crossed the room and pulled him into a hug. He cried into her shoulder.

“It’s all right, honey. I’m here.”

Tim allowed himself to cry for a minute, and regained his composure. Penny led him to the bed and sat him down. She carefully fixed his tie, as he sat quietly, willing himself to stop crying.

“There, you look very handsome.”

Tim wiped his eyes and got to his feet. He kissed his grandmother on the cheek.

 

“Thanks, Penny.”

“Are you ready to go? I could give you a minute.”

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be. Sitting here isn’t going to help things, either.”

“All right, let’s go. Your sister is waiting downstairs with the car.” 

Tim took his grandmother’s hand, and they left for the Admiral’s funeral. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The services at the funeral home were brief. The Admiral had insisted on it in his will. Tim shook hands with all of his father’s friends and co-workers, pretending that he was all right. He was glad when he was finally alone, and hid in the back of the room, on a couch. He stared at the casket in the front of the room. He hadn’t been up there all afternoon. Something about going up there terrified him. He reached into his coat and took out a frayed picture. He smiled as he looked at the picture. 

“How are you?” 

Tim looked up to find Gibbs standing over him, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Boss… what are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Tim.” Gibbs held out a hand. Tim hesitated for a moment, but reached out and shook Gibbs’ hand.

“Thanks.”

“Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead.”

Gibbs sat down next to him on the plush couch. He noticed the picture Tim was clutching.

“Is that your parents?” Gibbs asked gently.

“Yeah.” Tim held up the photograph so Gibbs could see it. “My mother died when Sarah was born. Childbirth complications. The Admiral wasn’t around much during my childhood. I spent most of my childhood with a Nanny.”

“My mother died when I was 14. She had cancer.”

“I never knew that, Boss.”

”I don’t like to talk about it. I was right where you are once. She found out too late. I went with her to all the chemo appointments, I helped her pick out wigs, and I was there when she wanted to cry from the pain. When she died, I was right there with her at the hospital, holding her hand. I know it wasn’t easy dealing with the Admiral’s illness, and I wanted to apologize for being such an ass these past couple of weeks.”

“Thanks, Boss. I really appreciate your support, and I accept your apology.” He shook hands with Gibbs. Tim looked up at the casket. Penny was standing next to it, looking around the room. He locked eyes with her, and came to a silent understanding of what she wanted.

“I have to go now. Thanks for coming.” 

“Anytime, Tim.” 

Tim got up and made his way up front, leaving Gibbs alone on the couch.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

The internment had ended hours ago. Everyone had left the cemetery. Tim waved Penny and Sarah off, insisting they head back to the house without him. He'd catch a cab when he was ready. They conceded and left him. 

A plastic marker was shoved into the dirt where the Admiral's grave stone would soon be. Tim sat against a neighboring grave stone, and stared at his father's grave. 

"The fighting was stupid, Dad," Tim said softly, staring at the grave marker. "Being with you at the hospital, it was too little, too late." A tear slipped down his cheek. "I wish I could tell you I’m sorry… that we had time to make things right…" 

He drew his knees to his chest, like he had often done when he was a child, when he was upset about something. Tears were forming in his eyes as he stared at the grave marker. 

"I'm sorry, Dad… I should have been there more often. I’m such a stubborn bastard… I couldn't even be there for you." 

Tim buried his head in his knees and let the tears fall. He'd been holding it together for Penny and Sarah, but he couldn't keep his composure any longer. He was alone now, and he could let it out. He cried until exhaustion took over, and he fell asleep. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Tim." 

Tim stirred when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He slowly lifted his head, wincing at the sudden return to daylight. Tony's face came into focus seconds later. 

"Tony? What are you doing here?" 

"Looking for you. Your grandmother called Gibbs screaming about an hour ago, when you didn't come home." 

"How long have you been looking for me?" 

"Not long." 

"She's going to kill me." 

Tony sat down next to him. 

"How are you?" 

Tim scrubbed a hand over his unshaven face and looked down at his knees. 

"Been better." 

"I'm sorry for your loss, Tim." 

"Thanks." 

Tony didn't say anything else for a few minutes. They just sat in silence. A memory suddenly reared itself in his mind--one he thought he'd forgotten. 

"I ran away after my Mom died. Did I ever tell you that?" 

"No, you didn't." 

"It was the night after we buried her. I missed her. I ran to the cemetery and sat with her. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the longer I was alone, the more I realized that she wasn't really there." 

"You were eight." 

"Doesn't mean it was any easier for me." 

"Why are you telling me this?" 

"You remind me of me. It took my Dad three hours to find me. I was alone and scared. You don't have to be alone, Tim. " 

Tim remained silent, his eyes still on the grave marker with his father's name on it. 

"There's something else on your mind, isn't there?" 

Tim nodded. 

"I found out a year ago that he was dying… and I didn't make any time to go and see him. Not once. That stupid feud of ours… he took it to his grave. " 

Tony could feel the guilt radiating from his friend. It would take a long time for Tim to stop feeling this way, but for now, he could be there for him. 

"Come on," Tony said, clapping Tim on the shoulder. "Let's get a drink." 

"I don't feel up for getting a drink right now, Tony." 

"You'd rather sit by yourself in a graveyard all day?" 

"It's better than sitting in a noisy bar," Tim retorted. 

"We'll go to my place then. I've got better booze anyway," Tony said, grinning. 

Tim hesitated for a minute, and finally turned to Tony. 

"Okay." 

Tony smiled and got to his feet. He helped Tim up, and they walked toward Tony's car. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

When they arrived at Tony's apartment, Tim fell exhaustedly onto the couch. Tony retreated to his study to pour them both a drink. When he came back, Tim was asleep on the couch. Tony took the drinks into the kitchen, and sat at the table. He pulled out his phone and called Gibbs. 

"I found him." 

_"At the cemetery."_

"Right where you said he'd be." 

_"Did you take him back to Penny's?"_

"No. I invited him over for a drink, and he passed out as soon as he hit the couch." 

_"Okay. Let him sleep. I'll call his Grandmother and tell her where he is."_

"Will do, Boss." 

_"Keep an eye on him, Tony."_

"You know I will." 

Tony hung up with Gibbs and went to retrieve his computer. He settled in at the kitchen table and queued up Netflix, while Tim slept in the living room. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Tim stirred and sat up. How long had he been asleep? He checked his watch. 

"Three hours?! I have to call Penny…" Tim started to search for his cell phone. 

"Your grandmother knows you're here, Probie." 

Tim looked up to find Tony standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. 

"You called my grandmother?" 

"Gibbs did." 

"I'm sure she loved that," Tim remarked, smirking. 

Tony moved into the living room. 

"Not as much as Gibbs, I'm sure." 

Tony saw a bit of a smile on his friend's face, but it disappeared just as quickly as he sank back to the couch. He decided right then that the best medicine would be to get Tim out of DC, away from everything for a while. He joined his friend on the couch. 

"What do you say you and me take a trip, get away for a while?" 

"A trip? Now isn't really the time for a trip, Tony." 

"It's the perfect time! We both have tons of leave saved up… it'll be fun!" 

"I'm not sure I'm up for fun." 

"You need a break, Tim, and I don't mean gluing yourself to your desk at work. You need a real break. We don't even have to go far… we can drive down to Virginia Beach for a week or two, get some sun. What do you say?" 

Tim sat back and gave it some thought. After everything he'd been through in the past few weeks, a vacation did sound good. In fact, it sounded much better than hiding in the office. 

"Okay, Tony. Let's do it." 

"All right, Probalicious!" Tony said excitedly, clapping Tim on the back. "I'll call Gibbs, and then we can go to your place so you can pack a bag." 

"Sounds like a plan." 

Tony went into the kitchen to call Gibbs, and Tim sat back on the couch. It would take a long time to get over the Admiral's death. The trip wouldn't solve all of his problems, but it would be a welcome distraction. 

"Gibbs approved our leave. He said we can sign the paperwork when we get back. He also threatened me with the mother of all head slaps if we turn our cell phones off." 

"That sounds like him," Tim said with a chuckle. "What are you waiting for, Tony? Pack your bag!" 

Tony practically galloped into his bedroom to pack a bag. Tim laughed and shook his head. Something told him this trip was going to be interesting. 

**END**


End file.
